Divorce rates for those over 50 — known as ‘gray divorce’ — have surged from 9% in 1990 to about 36% today. This trend has been evident in my 30 years as a divorce mediator. Some guess that with longer lifespans, older spouses are less willing to stay in unfulfilling marriages.

Gray divorce deeply affects adult children, especially in their relationships with their parents and partners. Contrary to past beliefs that grown-up kids aren’t that affected by their parents’ divorce, adult children report feelings of anger, shock, and enduring sadness. Some say it feels like their world has collapsed. Finding themselves caught in the middle, they may take sides, offering emotional and legal support to the “wronged” parent.

Adult children often face blurred boundaries with divorcing parents, who may seek their advice on dating or relationships — something they wouldn’t do with younger kids. Adult children often have no idea how to handle this.

These divorces can also negatively impact adult children’s own relationships, sometimes causing them to question their romantic future, or even end engagements.

Finally, one study revealed that many adult children tend to grow closer to their divorced mothers, and drift away from their fathers. This distancing is especially common when fathers enter new relationships, whereas contact with mothers decreases much less when they re-partner.