It’s no secret that opposites attract. So, for example, an introvert might marry an extrovert, who might help him or her better navigate anxiety-provoking social situations.

But the at-first attractive ‘opposite’ trait can become a real problem over time (think: the same introvert who now wants to spend Saturday evening at home with the kids, but the extrovert still wants to socialize). And it usually doesn’t take long for these issues to arise, says Penn State University professor and researcher Diane Felmlee.

Felmlee recommends ways for partners to deal with this common relationship issue. One is for partners to remind themselves of the qualities that first attracted them to their mates — and how they still appreciate them. Another is considering how your partner provides balance in your life.